Stephen Colbert lends his magic to Wired this month and, as always, its Colbertalicious. If I weren't so god damn lazy I would transcribe it all for you. Instead I threw out a chunk that tickled me and you can read the rest by enlarging the images.

Use the word zeitgeist as often as possible. Idealy, you want to find words that sound familiar but people don't really know their definition: zeitgeist, bildungsroman, doppleganger- better yet, anything Latin. But avoid paradigm. It's so 1994. If you say the word paradigm, everyone knows you're a poser.