So, you've finally got off the counseling sessions from when we last saw Madonna being all bendy. Now you're starting to feel like you can move on with your life, and everything is fine. The world has returned to normal.

So, you figure you can carry on with normal activities, going to the bank, listening to music, checking your email. In one of those emails, somebody sends you a link to IDontLikeYouInThatWay.com, and he says, "You have GOT to see this video. It's too hot for MTV! They banned it!"

So, curiosity being what it is, you click that link, you want to see that video. But, nothing can prepare you for what you're going to see, a festival of light and sound that no one can understand, comprehend, or get jiggy with. It is Madonna, and it is a video with all the passion, danger, lewd behavior, and reckless abandon you would expect from your kid's soccer team's coach could provide. It's about that sexy.

Highlights include a black guy trying to get his girlfriend's mom to stop hitting on him. Or something like that, to be honest, I mostly fast-forwarded through it, trying to find some non-boring parts. Needless to say, there 'tweren't none.

This is about as controversial as a live NBA game. One where the cheerleaders have the night off.