Drudge reports:

The National Republican Congressional Committee has snagged the wholesome, blonde and buxom Jessica Simpson to attend its fundraising gala on Thursday. House Majority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) is the lucky guy who gets to sit next to the "Dukes of Hazzard" star.

Not that he would recognize her, ROLL CALL reports.

"I'm not even sure if he knows who Jessica Simpson is," the Majority Leader's spokesman, Kevin Madden, told HOH. "Boehner's celebrity recognition standards crashed and burned with the introduction of color television."

Developing...

Okay, so you're asking yourself, "what the heck are you reporting this for?" Sure, it's kinda newsy, and kinda political (we're not the friggin' Wonkette for goodness'es sakes). Nope, this is my small way of giving another website some helpful advice.

I'm totally going to avoid the "boner" joke that would be far too easy, and rather focus on the pic that Matt chose for this NEWSFLASH, a side shot, with a bad angle of her face. Now, the problem here being...you can't see enough of her chest. Because, look, the only thing we care about is...well...her boobs. Be honest, people, her sister ain't rockin' the nugs, and look where her career's gone.

Here's what he shoulda used:

If there's anything we've proven at Pop!, it's that you need a full spread to get the 15-year-old kids hitting the "Moderate SafeSearch is off" on the GIS. Key word: cleavage. You keep putting boring pictures up there, and nobody'll ever visit your site. Just a little advice.

UPDATE: Just once, I would like to NOT find something else that contradicts what I just wrote within 10-15 seconds, just once! Jessica Simpson snubs President Bush. Maybe. Who knows.

UPDATE 2: EM Zanotti, stinging from my scooping of this story, writes about the Closet Foreign Policy Wonk.